Our first anniversary

Best read while listening to our song. [: I listened to it on repeat during this entire day.

 I left copies of four journal entries of different events in our relationship for him to find - one on the mirror where he'd find it before work, one in the car, one on his desk at work, and one on the front door for when he came home. The first one was one of the first times I mentioned Ryan in my journal, and I talked about how much I admired who he was and liked being around him. The second was the day I realized I was starting to really crush on him. Third, our first kiss; and fourth, a letter I wrote to him throughout the day while he was at work.

Throughout the day I was walking on air. I felt like it was our wedding day again. That day and all those emotions and experiences are some of my most happy and perfect memories. It was a fairytale. Walking out the temple doors to a cheering crowd of our family and friends. Kissing my husband every second I got the chance. Getting to talk to everyone who came to support us. I listened to our wedding playlist, looked through our wedding album, and unwrapped our cake while my brain floated through the memories of that Tuesday morning and everything that had happened since then. 365 days. Three hundred sixty-five. I could have shouted it! I was so happy and grateful for the man who had asked me to be his forever.

He brought me roses when he came home. We got dressed up and went to dinner and walked around the Riverwoods, where we had gone on our first date together. Chalk-the-Block was going on, so we grabbed some chalk and left our mark on the sidewalk. We came home, turned on our wedding playlist, lit candles, turned off the lights, and ate our cake. It tasted amazing! We were so excited that it was just as good as that day a year ago. We each had multiple pieces. [:

We danced in the living room to our song, and I felt like my heart couldn't possibly hold so much love. I couldn't hold back my happy tears. A year ago from that moment, I was dancing with my Mr. Gray, my husband, beneath twinkling lights, and surrounded by the people we loved. I still cannot comprehend how I got so lucky. I knew I loved Ryan more than I'd ever loved anyone, but looking back, I honestly didn't know the half of it. Since that day, it's only gotten better and sweeter. Sometimes I can't believe that I'm married to this man. It would make so much sense if it were just a dream. How is this real? How can someone love me so much?

There aren't words for the feelings I have, and I can only put it this way:

I love this man. I love him. I love him. I love him.

And I get him for eternity.