What I feel like living in a foreign country (five months in)

Somehow five months, almost half of Ryan's school year, is behind us. It it beautiful here! It's getting warm but not too warm, all the trees have leafed out and the parks look incredible, and it's just a a gorgeous place to be!

I wanted to write down a little breakdown of my feelings over the last five months, so I can always go back and have a peek into my mind at this point in our lives here. :) And people always ask me what it's like to live abroad, but so much of that is actually what it feels like to live abroad. There are always fun things to do (like taking whirlwind trips to Italy and restaurant-hopping and nailing European fashion), and those are the fabulous things you (and other people) envision when you think about living in a foreign country. But you also have to grocery shop in a place that doesn't use the same ingredients as you, and communicate with your Dutch insurance provider about something kinda complicated, and sometimes you just feel out of place and like a burden to the locals. Then other times you feel like you are totally settled and content in your home! It's exactly what my other friends and family have said about living internationally. My feelings go all over the place during a given week!

And this is just my personal experience. :)

78% of the time: Woo we live here! In the Netherlands! : I. love. living. here! There's so much Ollie and I can do during the long days while Ryan is in class. When I plan out our days, I've become familiar enough with the city that a lot of things come to mind, instead of the abyss that once was my idea pool in regards to things to do on a day-to-day basis. Exploring new parts of our city and really owning the fact that we live in such a cool city as Rotterdam is the best. And of course we try to pack in as many trips to other places as possible, and we'd do more if it wasn't for Ryan's pesky school. ;) I look forward to the next days and weeks here. I love the parks, the weather, the flowers and beautiful gardens everywhere, the Centrum area, the riverfront, the old brick rowhouses in our neighborhood, and mooore. My personal favorite part about living in Rotterdam is biking everywhere, and every time I hop on my bike with Ollie I can't help but smile. The friends we've met are HEAVEN SENT humans. Also, pretty proud of the progress I've made in everything, and how far I've come since my first grocery store trip, ha. Life is good here!

7% of the time: FOMO : Are we taking advantage of this time enough? Do we have enough trips planned?! Are we going to be able to do everything we want to do?! I swear we are going to look back on this time and feel like we wasted EVERY. DAY. Research alllllll the cities! How is it already May?! This is going to be over BEFORE WE KNOW IT.

5% of the time: Sucky-sad-lonely-and-homesick : Mostly just comes when I've been sick, or when Ryan's had a super busy period at school and I'm exhausted mentally and physically from day 7 of it just being Ollie and I from 8am to 9pm. You miss family and friends in the US. You start to really miss understanding what people around you are saying, and understanding the signs on the street and at the store, and understanding the ads on your phone. You feel a little isolated. You might really miss Cafe Rio and Swig 😜 and just familiarity. You get annoyed working "so hard" to do things that were once a breeze - reading recipes, using the correct units of measurement, finding the right foods at the grocery store, finding out which store carries a specific product you need ("I need bleach, like the chemical for disinfecting. No, not like toilet cleaner. No, not like de-scaler. No - BLEACH!"). It's not ever in a sense of "I just want to leave and never come back!" but more like "I'm a little tired of lots of changes. It would be great to have something familiar-feeling." 

10% of the time: Overwhellllllmed : I need to get our Residence Permits! BSNs! Insurance! A doctor! (That stuff is all over with now but it was a HUGE stressor for like three months since it took so long for our residence permits to be approved) I need to get friends! Find the right ingredients to make meals we like! Buy the right cleaning supplies for my house! Pay our internet bill! Ask questions to our property manager! Get Oliver enough socialization! All in Dutch and I'll probably look sooooo stupid like a million times and ugh I just don't want to deal with that right now!!

So anyhow, there's that. It's such a fun adventure being here! But it's also just normal life and sometimes you just want to find chocolate chips for eating and maybe for cookies and then FOR SOME REASON chocolate chips are not a thing in the Netherlands like at all and you can't find them anywhere and you get real sad.

Lately though, the blue skies usually find Ollie and I at a park or biking to the Maritime Museum, and we are over the lack of chocolate chips here and are just happy. We are also so excited to find new things to do as summer (and a little easier class schedule for Ryan) comes. Bring on the sunny days!