When President Monson made the announcement
that the acceptable age for missionary service would be lowered,
I didn't really know what it would do to my life.
Today I said goodbye to my two best friends on earth.
These are the girls I wanted to live with for the rest of my college experience.
The ones I wanted to go dress shopping with, ogle over wedding stuff with, and be one
another's bridesmaids. The ones I wanted to go on crazy road trips with during the
summers between school years. Run home to after an awesome date and gush
over a guy with. Freak out over first kisses, awesome test scores, and
engagements with.
It's really hard to accept that none of these things will happen now.
Australia and Brazil will be forever changed by the testimonies and pure
love radiated so naturally by these girls. What they are doing is incredible. I wish I could
follow, but I've received a different answer than they have. Maybe I'll post about that
someday. Or maybe it'll just stay in my journal. But by the time two years pass,
I'll be graduated, married, and probably in a different part of the world. I
don't know when I'll see these girls next. Timing is a funny thing.
I have to take a moment and be selfish. I've never been in a situation where
I've been separated from all the people I've depended on, confided in, and gotten
to know deeper than anyone else in my life. Aside from my family, Molly, Mariah, and
Ryan are those people. I've come to see that making deep friends is difficult for me, not because
I'm shy, but because I take awhile to open up and feel a deep connection with someone.
It takes a lot of time, usually a lot of prying by the other person, and when it's finally
reached that point, that relationship is absolutely invaluable to me.
And that makes losing it even more painful.
Today I'm more thankful than ever for my Savior, who can help me bear all pain that
I have ever felt, including some of the most crushing loneliness that I have ever experienced.
Then comes summer. Ryan leaves for L.A. for his internship. I'd be lying if I said I
wasn't sick with fright. It's going to take a whole lot of getting outside my comfort zone. There's
a whole lot I can say, but that's for my journal, not here. I'm scared. In many ways I'm completely
starting over. I have no idea what's going to happen this summer, but I do know
that it's all up to myself, my attitude, and my knowledge of the most important
relationship there is - the one between me, Heavenly Father, and his Son.
I'm ready to learn.
