A jumble in my noggin.

     I really have had a lot on my mind lately & I need to empty it out. That's where a blog comes in handy sometimes. [:
     This past week, two more of my good friends from BYU entered the MTC to prepare for their missions. One's off to Pennsylvania, and the other for Russia. That makes my tally of close friends on missions bump up to thirteen, and I'm not sure how I feel about it. I miss them, but I know they will be blessed for their service and will absolutely love what they're doing. But mostly... it makes me feel really old.
     I really miss someone. For so many different reasons and in so many different ways. My feelings are so mixed up about it. I've gotten a lot better with him being gone, but the fact that it's summer kind of rakes over the coals again for me. It brings back a lot of memories. I'm so used to sharing everything with him, being able to talk about anything and everything with him, and having him do the same with me. I miss having someone I was completely comfortable being with, someone who knows me inside and out, someone who I could do something as simple as just sit in a booth at DQ with and laugh about nothing. I realize Brazil needs this boy a whole lot more than I do, but still, moving on is hard business, yo. Dumb heart.

     Summer skipped us this year. The other day I heard on NPR that the UW Atmospheric Science Department has found Seattle to have had exactly 18 hours and 48 minutes of summer so far this year {and by "summer" they mean anything over 75 degrees}. It's mid-July. That is just plain wrong. Goodbye, Hawaii tan and summer freckles. You sure were nice while you lasted! {Ughh I still need to finish blogging about that trip... maybe it will just never happen haha.} PS... it just started raining. I kid you not.
     Money has been weighin heavy on my mindddd lately. The job my brother and I have had for years via an old church friend is starting to dry up, and I still need to make a good chunk of money before the end of August. Dad and I are trying to start up our own business doing the same thing but not selling them through our old employer, and though it is possible, it won't really kick off and start bringing in profit in time for my leaving for school. That's where my heaven-sent grandparents step in. As Public Affairs directors for the church in Washington, Northern Idaho, and Oregon, they have a lot on their plate, meaning lots for me to do, meaning casheesh AND getting to spend time with two of the most amazing people on the planet. It's been a blessing in so many different ways. I've still been applying for scholarships up the wazzooo, though, and praying hard for help in the future as well, since I'd love to do a Study Abroad at some point, among other money-guzzlin things.
     I still have no inkling of an idea what I want to major in. No, scratch that, I do know what I want to major in. Geology, English, Environmental Science, Geography, and maybe some Graphic Design and Business Management mixed in there. Oh heck just forget it, I just want to major in Everything. Hey BYU, could you gimme one of them there degrees in Everything? Yeah thanks, get back to me on that asap, would you?
     Today I helped Lydia get decorations together for her Girls Camp bucket. She's old enough to be going to her first year of Girls Camp. Weird? Yeah. Real weird. She's not allowed to do this to me.
     This week I've been really thankful that I've kept a detailed journal in the past. I didn't start doing it until a month or two into fall semester of last year. Up until that point I had been writing in an actual journal notebook like most people, and though I know it's much more meaningful that way, I couldn't find the time to write everything I wanted to in that thing. So I started a second, private blog and made it my journal. Just the fact that typing is so much faster than hand writing changed the way I journaled, and my entries became more and more detailed and frequent. Reading back through the entries is a really gratifying experience, not only because I can see in what ways I've grown stronger or improved, but because it makes me feel human and alive! [: Re-experiencing my first-ever date with an RM, or that one hellish day when I missed my scheduled Humanities exam, and reading through the little answers to prayer I recorded in there or the neat experiences I'd had in my personal scripture study - it all just makes me think, you know what? I am so thankful for this life. Regardless of silly achey hearts and school worries and money stress, I really do have it good.

I know that for a fact.